Intercognition Right After Metacognition

"Beneath the surface of the protective parts of trauma survivors there exists an undamaged essence." — Bessel van der Kolk

I have been living outside of the human system for some time now. It wasn't entirely by choice. For years now I have been living with CPTSD. It is insidious- one of the most difficult things, if not the most difficult thing, I have survived. It has come with great costs though, one of which has been isolation from most human systems and contact.

I am not here to dwell on what I have gone through, but to share a little bit about who I am and why I do what I do. How interconceptualism as a philosophy took shape, how Conceptual Studies emerged, and what literally changed my entire view of reality and what I was capable of. Perhaps if you have read the little bit of work I have shared thus far not much of what I say may make sense. A few years ago I would have been with you, but since then I have experienced things I never thought possible. Things that I cannot explain with the frameworks I was used to. Things that current science do not have words for.

I healed myself of my traumas. This by itself is something many have done before me. How I did it, and why though, is not. I consider myself to be rare- not in talent but circumstance. I am an anomaly compared to other humans, and while the isolation it brings with it is difficult at times, there have been some significant upsides. I am not classically trained in the brain sciences or philosophy of mind. I do, however, consider myself an expert in consciousness.

It isn't hard to be one, it just takes paying attention to one's own self. Mindfulness, Metacognition, thinking about thinking. Observing ones thoughts without judgement. Letting them deconstruct (a la Derrida) in front of you in order to find the dissonance. Find the weak spots and distortions. This is not in order to hide them or run from them (common instinct we have as humans) but to learn and grow from them. I originally did this to manage my symptoms, but it lead to something very unexpected.

I should note that a core component of what caused my trauma and has made the past few years living with it difficult was the uncertainty that it brought to my life. I could no longer trust my feelings, my instinct, my intuition. My perceptions were skewed and my brain had been rewired to expect danger around every turn, fear of the unknown and what was an accurate perception of reality ruled my life. It did not help that the systems around me, the social structures we have built, exacerbated it through intentional and unintentional gaslighting about what I was experiencing.

But I am a scientist. I am a problem solver and critical thinker. And I am determined. I could not trust the basic social systems and contracts we have put in place to be honored. I could not trust that others would accept facts over opinions. I could not trust that all evidence I presented (empirical and indisputable) would actually be considered. Consensus reality literally broke and failed around me. Nothing made sense. It felt like I broke into millions of pieces, my consciousness fragmenting in every direction and I was unable to reconstitute myself for a few years. I finally emerged from that altered state last spring and have been growing stronger every day.

Something happened during that time though, a shift. My perspective expanded. I reached a state of consciousness that I call Intercognition. This is the state past Metacognition. Why do I think it is past Metacognition? Because when I hit this state, this expansion of perspective, I felt overwhelming calm. I broke through the most pain I had ever felt into a strange peace. I suddenly saw and implicitly was aware of the interconnectedness of all things. Everything seemed to slow down. What didn't slow down was a torrent of information that flowed through my mind. It was like a firehose of knowledge. Things I never knew before all of a sudden made sense. I could see clearly. At first, it was almost an unbearable clarity. I believe this is what the Buddhists call 'Nirvana' or 'Enlightenment'. I am not a fan of the latter as it implies one has a higher standing than another, where I think it is just a matter of seeing reality, and oneself, and our interconnection to it, clearer. This is Intercognition.

When I think about it, it is not surprising, nor do I think it is as difficult a state to reach. Anyone can do it. It is a skill, like walking. It just takes practice. Mindfulness. Self-reflection. The willingness to change oneself by doing so. If you do it long enough, practice it long enough, you will reach it. Effortless mindfulness. It saves a lot of resources, and it helped with the uncertainty.

This is how many of my ideas came to me. During this tumultuous time. Because of my training as a scientist I was able to document everything, and have been able to study it. I have learned a lot that I am thinking of sharing (if there is interest). Much of what I did to heal myself (I am not cured, healing here is that I am back to a certain level of function, not back to where I was before onset) was a more focused regiment of what therapies are utilized in my case. I might have worked out some of the kinks. I plan on sharing those findings at some point as I am sure it could do some good for others dealing with the symptoms of trauma related illnesses.

All of this new clarity reshaped my understanding of reality. I became a veracious reader (I am now currently in the middle of 80 different books across every subject I can think of, it is slow going but so interesting!) something that had not been a high priority for me (other than technical documentation). This was when I found my cure. Basically, I was able to find a way to trust information independent of human systems. Any information. A method of cutting through the noise. It is hard for me to describe in this post, nor is that the purpose of this post.

I have already begun to share my results. The Resonance Principle is just the beginning. It will challenge a lot of the foundational assumptions we have about ourselves and our place in this universe. It connects everything. Uncovering the table we call it. It was always there. This doesn't change reality, only our understanding of it. Its time for a new perspective. Perhaps resonance is that new foundation.

The only certainty is uncertainty.